I’ve never had a corporate job. That means I’ve never had an annual review. I wasn’t particularly surprised that it was Satan who called me in, since I’ve heard what others have said about them.
I was a little surprised at the venue being Rockport Harbor, however. “I thought you were used to, well, warmer weather,” I said as I shivered.
“People have no idea how adaptable I really am,” he huffed, pulling his polar-bearskin cloak tighter.
“Your goals for 2015 were to maintain your teaching and painting practices, buy a studio and house in Maine, sell your house in Rochester, teach in Acadia and establish a teaching practice in Rockport,” he began. “Oh, and weed out all that junk mail you were getting.”
“We specifically agreed that establishing a new teaching practice was not realistic,” I protested. “In fact, I have a memo right here…”
“Moving right along…” he interrupted.
“We bought a place in April,” I answered. “Same-venue sales are up from the prior year. My business permit was approved, and the sign is up. The new studio is a fantastic teaching and working space. In fact, it may well be one of the best in the world.” (I borrowed that last line from one of my kids.)
“What about the house?”
“We signed the listing contract in 2015,” I protested. He frowned and scribbled on his tablet. Leave it to Satan to accentuate the negative.
“As for the junk mail, I can’t understand it,” I added. “I took myself off every list, but it’s all back again.”
He smiled his crocodilian smile. “Good to know Marketing is doing its job.”
Next came my goals for 2016. “I want to expand my Schoodic workshop to two weeks, establish regular classes in Rockport, build in time for regular work of my own, and expand my gallery representation. That’s in addition to unpacking everything we moved from New York.” Easy peasy, compared to last year.
“Right,” he answered, snapping his tablet shut. “Your performance has been above average. I’m pleased to tell you that you’re on track for no wage cut this year, and the increase in your contributions to your health insurance are capped at 6%. Thank you for another great year with the Company.”
And that was that.